As I read through the book of Jeremiah, I see not only a faithful prophet — but a man of intense loneliness.

Commanded by God not to take a wife or enjoy the blessings of family, Jeremiah was literally alone. His message put him at odds with his nation and his peers as well.

Yet Jeremiah faithfully rose up early each morning to speak God’s word to the people.
The days turned to years, and the years became decades. Through it all, Jeremiah was faithful. Although sometimes he considered quitting, he did not, for he could not stop speaking the words of God.

But the unfortunate reality for Jeremiah was a lifestyle of loneliness.

For alot of pastors and Christian leaders, this can be their experience as well.

Part of this loneliness can come with the territory and the calling.
Called by God to speak His words — a pastor at times will find himself at odds with others.

Part of it is just a reality of human existance. While people desire a friendly pastor and want to be connected in some way to him,  many already have existing friendships and do not have room for new ones. Larry Osborne wisely said that people are a bit like “legos” and have limited capacity for connections. When all their connections are full, they cannot realistically take on new friendships.

It seems odd that someone involved with people so deeply could be disconnected from relationships. It’s a bit more complicated than that though. A pastor has a unique role as a mentor, and one who disciples others. While a pastor may develop friendships with those he disciples — not all discipleship relationships will become friendships. This can seem incongruous when two people share so much together and yet do not develop true friendship. Paul called Timothy his “true son in the faith”. This was a mentoring relationship that blossomed and grew. These types of relationships can turn into lifelong friendship, or they may just be for a season. Understanding this truth is vital for a pastor to comprehend.

It’s been said before that every one should have a “Timothy” relationship of discipleship, as well as a “Paul” relationship of being mentored by another.

I’ve had the opportunity to disciple others, not because I am great, but because God has been gracious. Some of these have turned into friendship, and others have been great relationships for a season. I’ve also had the blessing of being mentored by Godly men. Some of my mentors have become friends, and some have not. Both were valuable.

Pastors and church leaders need to make disciples. It’s our calling. If we are wise, we will also seek out those who can mentor us. But if we are human — we should seek friendship as well. Sometimes, pastors can make the mistake of isolating themselves because of fear, fatigue or pride. Ultimately, a pastor, an elder or church leader is a person. A human being in need of friendship and relationships.

While God’s call to leadership can be a solitary road sometimes, it doesn’t have to be.

Be the friend of God. In Him we live and move and have our being.
Be the friend of your wife and children.
But open yourself up, pastors and church leaders, to godly friendships beyond.
It’s wise, it’s godly and it’s good.